The postpartum diaries Pt 2

Postpartum the first time compared to the second are two different experiences. Just like every pregnancy isn’t the same, the postpartum journey can vary significantly as well. I was thankful for my postpartum journey the second time around; it goes to show how far experience and knowledge can go. I still had my moments, but I was much more relaxed this time and really took everything in. In this blog, I’ll explain some things I did to make this postpartum experience a more positive one.

The first 24 hours after birth are always so important; it’s when you should try to get the most rest. The way I felt after I gave birth to my daughter was so much more calming and relaxing. I felt like I really took in those moments better than I did the first ime (a smoother birth helps). I really enjoyed the golden hour this time; I felt more at ease. My husband was also calm and more at ease. The whole experience was wonderful, and I believe it being our second time made it feel more relaxing. I mean, we knew how to be parents; we had a toddler at home. We didn’t panic when she cried; we knew how to swaddle and change nappies. This already felt like a breeze.

I thought more about what I would do once I gave birth, in terms of techniques to pull me out of the funk, or what I would focus on. Reminding myself to be more kind to myself. To ask for help when I needed it, and to really try not to focus on what my body would look like right after (this was a big one, I’ll get into it more later). I wanted this time to be different. I wanted to learn from my mistakes and change what was a priority and what wasn’t.

The things I did to make this postpartum different included resting when the baby was resting. Now, I understand this may seem confusing as I had a toddler as well, but when my baby was sleeping in her porta cot in the lounge room, I would sit down on the couch and watch a TV show (Suits at the time), and my son would be playing right in front of me. I didn’t worry about cleaning the kitchen or some other house chore. I just relaxed or made myself and my son a nice lunch. I did this often, and it really helped. Additionally, making my son’s midday nap around the same time my daughter would go for her nap also helped me have time to either nap or relax. I made their schedule work for me, which in turn kept me feeling good.

I went for more walks in the early days. Having a smooth birth this time meant I was able to walk around a bit. I’m not talking long 10,000-step walks;  where I was living at the time had a park about a 10-minute walk away. It helped me to get out of the house and be in fresh air, giving my son some time to play outdoors and burn his energy. Just being outdoors and moving helped my head feel clear. Again, this wasn’t to exercise as I was far from ready to start that (pelvic pain was at a high here). It was more a very slow-paced walk to sit at the park with my kids and just enjoy the sun when we had it (Melbourne weather).

My husband (while he was still on leave) and I took turns with feeding my daughter at night. One of us would sleep with my son in his bedroom (he had a double bed at the time) while the other slept in our room with our daughter and woke up with her every three hours. This helped a lot. It meant we both weren’t always so tired every day. This obviously did not last long as my husband had to go back to work, but it helped a lot in the beginning for the initial transition. Once it was time for me to take over every feed, it didn’t feel as bad. I’m still grateful she started to sleep for longer stretches by five months, so it did feel like a very small period this time.

I also had a different mentality, I believed I was calmer and more relaxed. I just embraced the hard days and didn’t put such high expectations on myself. I really tried to have time stand still and take in every moment with my kids. Watching my son become a big brother and adapt to the new routine so beautifully made it even more precious.

I took my time with everything. I didn’t argue with my husband a whole lot either, as we were so much gentler with each other and the changes this time. We went out more and did things together. I even went out more on my own with both kids, which gave me more strength and confidence.

my second postpartum journey was a testament to growth and learning. It showed me that experience and preparation make a significant difference. By giving myself grace, embracing the hard days, and prioritizing rest and self-care, I was able to navigate this period with more confidence and calm. Remember, every postpartum experience is unique, and it’s okay to seek help and adjust expectations. Cherish the moments with your little ones and acknowledge the incredible job you’re doing. Here’s to all the mums out there—your strength and resilience are truly remarkable.